Halloa blog readers :))
So, it's Tuesday, and I'm at the library. Next to my classmate, who's listening to music and drawing stuff. I have a couple hours to kill, so I thought I'd update my blog with thoughts and observations about the different communication styles of men and women.
WELL. My "best friend" (so to speak - lately I've had reservations about using the word "friend", which is one I throw around too regularly. But that's another story, to do with the Aquarian fetishization of that "F" word. Back to topic) in Lebanon, and quite conceivably the world, is an energetic, vivacious, and highly "communicative" (I'll use that word instead of "talkative", it has better connotations) Gemini man. And I can pinpoint a bunch of times during which this awesomenicitous man would ask me, "How do you know when a girl likes you?" This question, I'm exactly 99.875% sure, has men all over the globe racking their brains at some point or other. No matter how penetrating their minds may be when it comes to rocket science, sanitation-engineering, and uncovering the societally-determined "mysteries of the Universe". At the root of communication between the fair sex and the, erm, not-so-fair sex (pardon, les gars), is a disconnect that comes from differences in the way women and men respond to and process information derived from interactions with the outside world (in the context of this blog post, mainly the social realm, in which men and women are lumped together oh, I don't know, every other second or so). So, without further ado, I'll TRY (which is a big effort for me. Do I get a cookie for this, I wonder?) to cut straight to the point (okay, a few minor detours never hurt anybody - where's your sense of adventure?) in analyzing what I think various communication signals from men and women alike mean, as a general guide, I suppose. Better to read this than to go on one of those dating sites that give articles with headlines like "DOES HE LIKE ME?" <KESS ME AGAIN> (Lebanese expletives are a happiness-inducing affair, what with the bitter cold that comes with separation - I suppose - it's an overdramatization. Don't mind me, I'm just babbling some liquorice.)
Friendly
I cannot tell you how many times friendly communication signals and body language are misconstrued by both males and females. I once read an article that claimed the following: Out of 100% of all interactions between a male and female(s), 50% of friendly signals from the female(s) in question will be misread as sexual/romantic, and 50% of romantic/sexual cues from the female will be brushed off as friendliness. The article didn't list percentages, but I think these illustrate the point it was trying to make. I don't remember if the article said anything about female signal-reading skills, but I'll try to fill in that gap for you here. Mars is the masculine principle, Venus is all things feminine. It shouldn't come as a suprise, then, when I tell you that Mars in a birth chart represents sexual vitality and direct action; Venus, on the other hand, represents romance, beauty, and the arts. Therefore, it could be that men are sometimes so blinded by their desire for sexual consummation with a particular woman, that their subconcious becomes programmed to interpret any signals from a woman as purely sexual. This also has to do, I'm sure, with the (I believe) erroneous hypermarketing of carnal desire in the media over, let's say, the past seven years. It might also have to do with this idea that's put into men's heads from a very young age, that you, sir, are a man. Men are exclusively assertive, aggressive, and forward-pushers. Men have to accumulate, to overcome, and to conquer, for them to be viewed as men by society. Such notions extend to sexual conquest as well. It's inconceivable to a man that Woman X is not attracted to him - what kind of a man would I be if I couldn't "get" the girl? A man's sexual attractiveness becomes entangled with his general image of himself as an individual, and specifically an individual of the male gender. Females face a similar problem when it comes to romance. Women are programmed from an early age to be meek and submissive and receptive to the commands and superiority of men - the Disney princess movies don't help things one bit. Traditionally, women had to suppress their individual characters because finding a romantic partner and provider was necessary for a woman's "salvation" and "uplifting" from a spiritual, mental, and more-often-than-not literal destitution of a sort. And this is why you see so many women interpreting what is just friendliness from a man as a knee-jerk "he likes me". For men, the mantra is slightly reversed - "she wants me". SO, mesdames et monsieurs, what you decide to do with your psychosexual programming is your business alone. BUT, here's a bunch of signals that are commonly perceived as FRIENDLY, so that you don't run too far ahead of yourselves into a helikesmeshewantsme mess.
a) A hand on your arm is, when it comes down to it, more of a friendly thing than a sexual one. If this is done during a conversation, the person is trying to show you they're listening to you, and sympathizing and/or agreeing with what's being expressed. Also, it makes them feel closer to you, on a subconcious level. BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN A SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC WAY.
b) An open-featured smile, in which the face is relaxed and the eyes light up, is friendly, brothers and sisters. Sexual smiles come off as leary, whereas romantic ones come off as feather-headed. The open-featured lip-lift is definitely friendly.
c) A friendly hug is usually not too tight, but not too loose, either. And if a shoulder-pat is part of the deal, it's ultra-friendly. NO sexual/romantic undercurrents there. Too tight can cross into being sexual, passionate, etc. Too loose could signal detachment and/or hurt.
d) If a man or woman puts their arm around your shoulders, they feel comfortable and buddy-buddy with you. If a man does this, it could mean he feels protective towards you as well. This is a very surefire indicator of friendly emotions from one towards the other.
e) Someone ruffling your hair is strictly friendly.
f) Likewise with someone chucking you under the chin.
g) Lightly patting someone's head, cheek, shoulder, arm is also friendly. If the grip is more intense, it most probably comes with a sexual undertone.
h) Women, be careful of hugging a guy too tight - you take it as sweet, cuddly, affectionate. The response on the male side of the fence, however, may propagate a more, um, expanded range of options.
i) Women, when a man places his hand on the small of a woman's back, he feels protective and warm towards her, but this is also a territory-marking gesture - almost as if (exactly as if, actually) he's telling other "predators" to "back off - this one is mine".
And now, les filles et les gars, time for the piece de la resistance - I'm bored. I feel an infinite geometric series of yawns coming on. Maybe it's the air in this place. Anyway, this is to be continued, I guess. But can I just say one more thing?
To men: when a woman tells you about her emotions, she is baring her soul to you. She trusts you enough to do so. Don't react in a bland or dismissive way to such admissions.
To women: when a man tell you about his ambitions and expectations, he is baring his soul to you. He trusts you enough to do so. Don't react in a bland or dismissive way to such admissions.
Oh, the love between men and women, women and women, men and men. So bloody difficult to write about well. After writing this blog post, I have a newfound admiration for people who have to do this for a living. It's such prosaic, detail-oriented work. Cool, at least I learned something new about myself.
My e-mail is: bemgcasrbaquarian@gmail.com
I think I'll write an astrology post next. Gemini and Aquarius, or something like that, because I miss my cool Gemini buddy.
See you.
Signed, your friendly Water Bearer.
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